New Kinder, Gentler NSA

 
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Raptor
Sprints McGee


Joined: 04 Jan 2004
Posts: 5567
Location: The Wired

PostPosted: Wed Apr 01, 2009 2:24 pm    Post subject: New Kinder, Gentler NSA Reply with quote

Quote:

* NSAdvice: Kinder, Gentler NSA Hires Advice Columnists to
Assist Spied-On Americans

Under the Obama Administration, the NSA hopes to soften its
image and improve public opinion concerning its warrantless
dragnet spying program--with a little help from Ann
Landers. The NSA has contracted with Landers and dozens of
other personal advice columnists, many of whom have been
laid off from their newspaper jobs as that media sector
continues to lag, to help provide advice to the millions of
ordinary Americans whose communications are continually
being intercepted by the secretive agency.

"Many Americans don't realize that the NSA is only
intercepting all of their phone calls, faxes, emails, IMs,
SMS messages, and web traffic in order to *protect* them,
and we hope that the new 'NSAdvice' program will help
educate the people about our protective mission," said NSA
Director Keith B. Alexander. "As our supercomputers sift
through all of your private communications for hints of a
terror plot, they can also spot when you're going through a
rough patch in your marriage, facing off with a serious
illness, or trying to decide whether to buy that new house.
Now, with our army of under-employed advice columnists, we
can act on that intelligence--and send you professional
advice targeted at your most private problems. Whether
you're struggling with personal debt, trying to lose
weight, or starting to suspect that your spouse may be
cheating, the NSA is here to help!"

For more on the NSA's illegal spying program:
http://www.eff.org/issues/nsa-spying

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Bulkoth
Whitest Forumer


Joined: 11 Jan 2004
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Location: State College

PostPosted: Wed Apr 01, 2009 2:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Haha, if only the joke weren't on us ><
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Marcus Brody
The Dog


Joined: 09 Jan 2004
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 01, 2009 2:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

April Fool's joke or Just Plain Satire, taking all bets!
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Jacob
HATES FIREWORKS


Joined: 11 Jan 2004
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 01, 2009 4:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

April Fools!!!
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